{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the coffee file a police report?","punchline":"It got mugged.","id":431}
["Air plant etsy leggings banh mi mustache jean shorts synth shabby chic. Chia gastropub live-edge cold-pressed, hell of kogi fanny pack knausgaard readymade YOLO semiotics same bruh vice. Yr keffiyeh green juice thundercats lomo fashion axe chicharrones roof party sriracha art party actually direct trade hexagon tote bag. Blackbird spyplane selvage lomo, kickstarter intelligentsia bushwick art party. Green juice austin keytar fingerstache chillwave iPhone raclette chambray hot chicken blog. Portland semiotics biodiesel fam venmo swag, messenger bag austin keffiyeh truffaut enamel pin raw denim. Mlkshk fingerstache blog biodiesel poutine stumptown franzen authentic, raw denim tumblr.","Man braid artisan taxidermy heirloom asymmetrical. Tattooed praxis tofu freegan meditation. +1 drinking vinegar austin hella, godard plaid same man braid yr woke synth. Neutra ennui disrupt, lyft bushwick kombucha mlkshk dreamcatcher. Shoreditch mlkshk cray prism pickled. Sartorial farm-to-table blue bottle scenester, chambray fit marxism knausgaard sustainable asymmetrical mustache pop-up meggings bespoke organic.","Forage hoodie enamel pin, cronut twee subway tile vegan ugh next level activated charcoal. Disrupt pickled small batch paleo. Shaman keffiyeh normcore butcher. Meditation migas lomo chillwave.","Solarpunk farm-to-table man bun butcher. Tilde street art tacos banh mi migas man bun disrupt bitters waistcoat vape subway tile vibecession. Shoreditch VHS fit ennui. Vibecession hoodie hella, schlitz chambray marxism glossier. Portland blue bottle lomo vice. Tote bag subway tile health goth, fit humblebrag migas cold-pressed etsy hot chicken kickstarter gorpcore. Selvage hella dreamcatcher cliche, before they sold out hashtag austin.","Tumblr adaptogen shaman, hashtag sartorial raclette mukbang messenger bag. Enamel pin cray shaman forage viral, neutral milk hotel Brooklyn cliche photo booth. Edison bulb vibecession disrupt, mustache umami grailed plaid yr viral readymade swag affogato jean shorts. Sartorial pork belly marfa, lyft same art party sus cronut. Williamsburg marfa bodega boys normcore roof party banjo."]
{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call cheese by itself?","punchline":"Provolone.","id":222}
{"slip": { "id": 169, "advice": "Do something selfless."}}
{"fact":"Cats can jump up to 7 times their tail length.","length":46}
{"fact":"Cats with long, lean bodies are more likely to be outgoing, and more protective and vocal than those with a stocky build.","length":121}
{"slip": { "id": 35, "advice": "Only those who attempt the impossible can achieve the absurd."}}
{"type":"standard","title":"London Declaration","displaytitle":"London Declaration","namespace":{"id":0,"text":""},"wikibase_item":"Q6670316","titles":{"canonical":"London_Declaration","normalized":"London Declaration","display":"London Declaration"},"pageid":12373173,"thumbnail":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/54/Commonwealth_Prime_Ministers_in_London_1949.jpg/330px-Commonwealth_Prime_Ministers_in_London_1949.jpg","width":320,"height":262},"originalimage":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/54/Commonwealth_Prime_Ministers_in_London_1949.jpg","width":1920,"height":1574},"lang":"en","dir":"ltr","revision":"1284187951","tid":"796c1a11-1296-11f0-a897-83de1ae4f681","timestamp":"2025-04-06T03:23:14Z","description":"1949 Commonwealth document about India","description_source":"local","content_urls":{"desktop":{"page":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/London_Declaration","revisions":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/London_Declaration?action=history","edit":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/London_Declaration?action=edit","talk":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:London_Declaration"},"mobile":{"page":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/London_Declaration","revisions":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:History/London_Declaration","edit":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/London_Declaration?action=edit","talk":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:London_Declaration"}},"extract":"The London Declaration was a declaration issued by the 1949 Commonwealth Prime Ministers' Conference on the issue of India's continued membership of the Commonwealth of Nations, an association of independent states formerly part of the British Empire, after India's transition to a republican constitution.","extract_html":"
The London Declaration was a declaration issued by the 1949 Commonwealth Prime Ministers' Conference on the issue of India's continued membership of the Commonwealth of Nations, an association of independent states formerly part of the British Empire, after India's transition to a republican constitution.
"}{"slip": { "id": 137, "advice": "You're not that important; it's what you do that counts."}}
["Pop-up chambray mixtape humblebrag cornhole truffaut. Flannel art party distillery keytar hella bespoke hoodie solarpunk schlitz viral wolf umami photo booth. Skateboard chartreuse photo booth meggings cupping bicycle rights paleo. Echo park succulents squid, fixie shabby chic ethical polaroid schlitz typewriter letterpress. Heirloom gastropub taiyaki, bicycle rights single-origin coffee kogi vaporware salvia PBR&B DSA praxis waistcoat cardigan vice organic. Master cleanse gatekeep gluten-free, cornhole humblebrag mixtape aesthetic. Thundercats organic tbh literally.","+1 fixie tofu mukbang 90's bodega boys polaroid taiyaki gluten-free af slow-carb letterpress. Before they sold out kickstarter sustainable, cliche fit cupping af la croix pinterest crucifix yes plz. Disrupt mumblecore bespoke, keffiyeh lomo marxism thundercats deep v edison bulb plaid irony trust fund. Blog 90's swag 8-bit chambray activated charcoal live-edge scenester fam tumeric lo-fi echo park jianbing farm-to-table +1. Meditation selfies mlkshk ramps semiotics.","Mlkshk heirloom literally put a bird on it tousled, YOLO godard vinyl cred portland vice humblebrag cupping shabby chic prism. Affogato brunch tousled, pug hell of ennui listicle grailed af. Man bun poke cold-pressed put a bird on it same, listicle post-ironic narwhal street art messenger bag meditation air plant squid kombucha bicycle rights. Tote bag microdosing normcore man braid kinfolk bespoke salvia mlkshk pickled. PBR&B master cleanse flexitarian VHS, snackwave wayfarers enamel pin skateboard pickled portland street art same hoodie sartorial chillwave.","Banh mi offal master cleanse cray photo booth. Chia roof party vice palo santo waistcoat venmo, viral banh mi four dollar toast master cleanse knausgaard organic. Austin raw denim helvetica, unicorn selfies master cleanse hoodie kitsch squid banjo. DSA celiac mustache, tousled kombucha live-edge photo booth snackwave synth enamel pin knausgaard church-key messenger bag offal. Ennui lumbersexual neutral milk hotel, sus bespoke umami pitchfork big mood cronut DIY mixtape letterpress disrupt fam heirloom. Everyday carry knausgaard locavore letterpress. Hoodie pork belly migas, semiotics authentic synth keytar selfies readymade tumblr seitan.","Cred glossier flexitarian raw denim paleo, iceland occupy praxis photo booth pitchfork. Air plant bruh jean shorts, organic woke cronut unicorn cardigan post-ironic cloud bread ascot. Cred mustache humblebrag occupy health goth selvage hexagon scenester cray man bun fingerstache. Raclette iceland aesthetic fit unicorn iPhone raw denim lyft gluten-free VHS waistcoat."]
{"type":"programming","setup":"I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.","punchline":"They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.","id":399}
["Health goth 90's polaroid lo-fi. Stumptown mixtape copper mug cronut vinyl. Kitsch vibecession next level pabst skateboard twee. YOLO intelligentsia hammock yr lo-fi tote bag normcore everyday carry occupy pok pok shabby chic gastropub. Readymade glossier godard chia cardigan tacos hashtag ramps.","Cold-pressed gochujang cronut, raw denim banjo retro butcher grailed. Bruh actually farm-to-table fashion axe blackbird spyplane aesthetic, woke adaptogen schlitz lumbersexual vegan man bun 90's. Succulents vibecession kombucha sartorial, tousled whatever pitchfork drinking vinegar. Drinking vinegar authentic ennui, subway tile green juice vexillologist plaid listicle biodiesel taiyaki narwhal. Blue bottle direct trade shaman same tonx sartorial jawn DSA prism. Stumptown vibecession mixtape gluten-free, cray tousled locavore hexagon banjo health goth fam trust fund fanny pack snackwave. Keytar cred af ramps bitters selfies.","Tattooed viral before they sold out beard cronut ugh pug kinfolk. Hexagon whatever organic banh mi hashtag photo booth yr cardigan woke yuccie mixtap